No leader can build and sustain a great organization if no trust exists. – unknown.
This is Part 3 in my series on Navigating mental health disorders in a strict religious environment (SRE). I previously wrote about some of the tactics that leadership uses in such circles to discourage people they feel threatened or intimidated by. As per my previous disclosures, thankfully controlling and narcissistic leadership is not widespread or the norm in every SRE, but when there is, the damages can be far and wide.
I will try to practice as much discretion as possible, as I feel its past due time to share one of my own personal experiences in a SRE. I have been journaling for well over two decades so I feel my details are as accurate as they can get. I will re-emphasize that my goal is to raise awareness of the subject as hand, and also be an encouragement to others that may have, or still do struggle. I am not calling out any one individual or organization. If you get your jollies off that stuff, there is plenty of that kind of material out on the web and social media.
At various times that I have been associated SRE’s, there were three or four times I disclosed my struggles with someone in leadership in regard to my clinical depression (at least that is what was diagnosed with many years by a general practitioner). Sometimes the reaction was a raised eyebrow. Other times it was sharp comments like “just snap out of it” or “cheer up.” My favorite was “drink more coffee”!
The last time was nearly 15 years ago. In casual conversation with a small group that included a leadership figure and his wife, I casually mentioned some things about my childhood and my testimony, both of which I hadn’t really talked about up until that point. As if my mouth had no off switch, I made one of the biggest mistakes and mentioned I struggled with mental health issues, notably clinical depression since my teenage years.
The small crowd we were with (my wife was present) quickly fell silent, some raised eyebrows among the men, followed by a few “I see.” The ladies shifted in their seats and the topic of conversation was quickly changed.
The incident above took place in January. The days, weeks and months that followed were “cold” to say the least. There was an obvious “distance” placed between myself and the folks of this particular SRE. The month of May rolled around and I finally asked someone in leadership if something was wrong or if there was a problem. The Sunday school roster was reorganized and my name was removed. Our family was no longer invited to certain functions or asked to participate in various activities that we would normally be involved in. I had no idea what was next.
To be continued….
Milepost 81 