One thing I have learned when dealing with a family crisis, both in our own situations and observing other families is, a husband and wife will discover quite quickly what their marriage is made of and what foundations it is based on.
Hardship can quickly undermine any relationship. Be it financial, illness or injury, or about anything for that matter, can erode the bond between two people. You have two people, bound by love & marriage, two people with two different personalities, backgrounds and experiences. Two people who handle the good times in different ways, and the bad times in different ways.
We all have emotions… and the emotions among partners will be different. On top of that, we all show our emotions in different ways. One spouse can be quite open and perhaps dramatic while the other may appear calm and perhaps anti-climatic. Keep in mind, both spouses may be feeling the same thing, yet reacting in opposite ways.
There will be numerous times that a husband and wife are at different levels entirely… one may be at a different stage than the other. In our experience, I thought I was ahead of my wife, dealing with the issue as a responsible and mature husband and father, only to get knocked on my rear by what I should have felt months before. It was a rather rude, but necessary, wake up call!
Respect. What’s that mean in a relationship? That means giving the other space to cope with what they are feeling. That also means being available when they are ready (and want to) to talk. That means not demanding they “snap out of” a certain emotional stage. This stuff takes time. We are all different. No one can tell you how you should feel or that it is time to “move on.”
May God add His blessing – Steve
Milepost 81 