A year has passed, one solid year since the bombshell was dropped on your family. One whole very emotional year. You realize how totally devastating it all was. Your family is still in pieces, you as a parent haven’t even began to try to put it back together. There appears to be no starting point, no where to really begin. Over the past months, you held on to hope that this would be over at some point, but it never is, and in all likelihood, never will be.
The horrible acts that took place, the questions surrounding it all, were never answered. The how’s and why’s are yet a mystery. In all reality, it’s a drop in the bucket compared to all that has taken place: dealing with the authorities, the police, lawyers, counselors…. The list is endless. As a parent of an assault victim, you learn in a hurry where your rights end and everyone else’s begins. A year later you are able to look someone in the eye and keep a straight face and talk about what has been done, all with little to no emotion. Not because you don’t have any but because you’ve been through them all and have become callused to the situation.
You remember back to the beginning – how days turned into weeks and weeks into months. How you kept assuring yourself and your spouse that this could be over tomorrow, its probably nothing, the caseworker is trying advance her own career at the expense of the family… and on and on you manage to keep a false hope. As the weeks tick by and CPS hands your case off to the police and the anger and frustration begin all over again. More weeks go by and now the District Attorney is involved. They notice some inaccuracies in the evidence and order parts of the case to be re-investigated. Then more time drags by and it’s the police… again.
By now, its almost fall. This started the previous winter, then spring became summer. The powers that be keep telling you there’s “one more step and it’ll be over.” By now, not only the police involved as well as the DA’s office but its probation and parole. Add to that the court system and all its moving parts. Victim’s Advocate, public defenders and you’re still trying to maintain appearances at your employment.
One year later, its not over. It will never be over. Everyone tells you to adapt to a “new normal.” What is normal? How do we get there? Some things are still bouncing through the court system, some things are over and done with, but everything is so scattered. Support systems will become a breath of fresh air, your home church, maybe a company chaplain, maybe each other. But never loose hope, as God brought you here for a reason, a reason yet to be revealed!
Milepost 81 